The Yellow Incident

Around 3 p.m. Wednesday, I received a phone call from Zona's teacher, Ms. Bolivar. Of course, my first thought was sheer panic - is she hurt?- until I realized that school dismisses at 2:25. Next thought, oh boy, she must have done something really bad to warrant a call from the teacher. (Predicated by the fact that Zona got into bed with me last night and was up from about 2:30 to 3:30 coughing her head off from allergy drainage and I'd sent a note to the teacher to let her know that she would most likely be "over tired.") The teacher said that it was no big deal, but that she was calling to warn me that Zona was really upset when she left school today and wanted to let me know why.

The background- Tuesday, Zona and her friend, Kody, had an incident in which Zona was trying to weigh an apple against some teddy bears (kindergarten science experiment) and her friend Kody kept stealing her apple as a practical joke. Zona reported this and Kody got in a little trouble because of it and had to change his "color."

For the uninitiated, the children start fresh on "green" each morning. For minor infractions, their color is changed to yellow- warning, slow down and consider your behavior. Additional unacceptable behavior warrants a change to blue- time out for 5 minutes. Beyond that is red- the parent is contacted via phone OR they go to the principal's office. Apparently, yellow is really common- especially amongst the kindergartners. When there is a color change the teacher will note it on the date in the child's folder with a brief explanation or call if they are on red. I'm pretty sure that Kody's Mom made him write an apology note to Zona after his color was changed on Tuesday- see below, especially kindergarten version of Freudian slip.

Today- Ms. Bolivar said she suspected there was a full moon or something as almost all the children were really out of sorts and only a couple remained on green for the day. In Zona's incident, her friend Kody told her she was not doing her "paper right." Apparently, Zona started yelling at him that she was doing it correctly at the top of her very capable lungs. Ms. Bolivar spoke with her and let her know that yelling at a friend because she was upset with them was not "ok" and then asked her what she thought they should do about it. Zona immediately said, "Change my color" and went over to the behavior board and changed it. (Apparently, she had learned the ropes by witnessing others' behavior travails.) She apologized to her friend and the incident seemed to be resolved.

About 30-45 minutes later, Ms Bolivar looked over to find Zona crumpling into inconsolable tears. She took her aside to try to figure out what was wrong and found Zona devastated that she had to "change her color." The teacher really used the word "devastated." She said that all Zona could say was, "My Mommmmmmyyyy is gooooing to be soooooo ssssssssaaaaaaaaadddd." Ms. Bolivar said that no matter what she tried, she could never get Zona back into the swing of things. She was teary the rest of the school day, still weepy standing in line waiting for bus,and crying openly getting onto the daycare bus. The teacher said felt so bad for her that she had to call me to warn me about it. She also said that it is pretty rare to have a kindergartner stay on green for the first 5 1/2 weeks of school. And that the incident could have probably passed without a yellow, but when a kid takes responsibility for out-of-line behavior she wants to support that as it seems to have greater impact on them.

Poor Z, she was still pretty bummed when I cam home from work. She met me at the door with a sad face and was also pretty disappointed to find out that I already knew about what had happened. I guess she was eagerly anticipating telling her tale of woe.

She's still obsessing over it a bit- today she pointed it out on her chart and on her calendar saying "that was a really baaaaad day."


Zona's wonderful and adorable kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Bolivar, is the third from the left. She is truly gifted and seems to really LOVE her job!
Kody's letter of apology to Zona for his practical joking.I think the items in his hands are teddy bears and an apple. I don't think they were really upset with each other, but note the possible Freudian slip of "sore" instead of sorry!
The results of Zona's apple experiment- once she got her apple back
Zona's behavior calendar for the month and the offending "yellow". The green paw print stamps (school mascot is a wildcat) are hard to see, but she has one on every day except for October 1. The scan is too hard to read enlarged, but on Oct. 1, it reads "Yellow. Yelling at Kody when she was upset with him. Oops!" The other notations are 9/12/08 "Queen for the Day" and 9/18/08 "Zona is precious!"