Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Yellow Incident
Around 3 p.m. Wednesday, I received a phone call from Zona's teacher, Ms. Bolivar. Of course, my first thought was sheer panic - is she hurt?- until I realized that school dismisses at 2:25. Next thought, oh boy, she must have done something really bad to warrant a call from the teacher. (Predicated by the fact that Zona got into bed with me last night and was up from about 2:30 to 3:30 coughing her head off from allergy drainage and I'd sent a note to the teacher to let her know that she would most likely be "over tired.") The teacher said that it was no big deal, but that she was calling to warn me that Zona was really upset when she left school today and wanted to let me know why.
The background- Tuesday, Zona and her friend, Kody, had an incident in which Zona was trying to weigh an apple against some teddy bears (kindergarten science experiment) and her friend Kody kept stealing her apple as a practical joke. Zona reported this and Kody got in a little trouble because of it and had to change his "color."
For the uninitiated, the children start fresh on "green" each morning. For minor infractions, their color is changed to yellow- warning, slow down and consider your behavior. Additional unacceptable behavior warrants a change to blue- time out for 5 minutes. Beyond that is red- the parent is contacted via phone OR they go to the principal's office. Apparently, yellow is really common- especially amongst the kindergartners. When there is a color change the teacher will note it on the date in the child's folder with a brief explanation or call if they are on red. I'm pretty sure that Kody's Mom made him write an apology note to Zona after his color was changed on Tuesday- see below, especially kindergarten version of Freudian slip.
Today- Ms. Bolivar said she suspected there was a full moon or something as almost all the children were really out of sorts and only a couple remained on green for the day. In Zona's incident, her friend Kody told her she was not doing her "paper right." Apparently, Zona started yelling at him that she was doing it correctly at the top of her very capable lungs. Ms. Bolivar spoke with her and let her know that yelling at a friend because she was upset with them was not "ok" and then asked her what she thought they should do about it. Zona immediately said, "Change my color" and went over to the behavior board and changed it. (Apparently, she had learned the ropes by witnessing others' behavior travails.) She apologized to her friend and the incident seemed to be resolved.
About 30-45 minutes later, Ms Bolivar looked over to find Zona crumpling into inconsolable tears. She took her aside to try to figure out what was wrong and found Zona devastated that she had to "change her color." The teacher really used the word "devastated." She said that all Zona could say was, "My Mommmmmmyyyy is gooooing to be soooooo ssssssssaaaaaaaaadddd." Ms. Bolivar said that no matter what she tried, she could never get Zona back into the swing of things. She was teary the rest of the school day, still weepy standing in line waiting for bus,and crying openly getting onto the daycare bus. The teacher said felt so bad for her that she had to call me to warn me about it. She also said that it is pretty rare to have a kindergartner stay on green for the first 5 1/2 weeks of school. And that the incident could have probably passed without a yellow, but when a kid takes responsibility for out-of-line behavior she wants to support that as it seems to have greater impact on them.
Poor Z, she was still pretty bummed when I cam home from work. She met me at the door with a sad face and was also pretty disappointed to find out that I already knew about what had happened. I guess she was eagerly anticipating telling her tale of woe.
She's still obsessing over it a bit- today she pointed it out on her chart and on her calendar saying "that was a really baaaaad day."
Zona's wonderful and adorable kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Bolivar, is the third from the left. She is truly gifted and seems to really LOVE her job!
Kody's letter of apology to Zona for his practical joking.I think the items in his hands are teddy bears and an apple. I don't think they were really upset with each other, but note the possible Freudian slip of "sore" instead of sorry!
The results of Zona's apple experiment- once she got her apple back
Zona's behavior calendar for the month and the offending "yellow". The green paw print stamps (school mascot is a wildcat) are hard to see, but she has one on every day except for October 1. The scan is too hard to read enlarged, but on Oct. 1, it reads "Yellow. Yelling at Kody when she was upset with him. Oops!" The other notations are 9/12/08 "Queen for the Day" and 9/18/08 "Zona is precious!"
The background- Tuesday, Zona and her friend, Kody, had an incident in which Zona was trying to weigh an apple against some teddy bears (kindergarten science experiment) and her friend Kody kept stealing her apple as a practical joke. Zona reported this and Kody got in a little trouble because of it and had to change his "color."
For the uninitiated, the children start fresh on "green" each morning. For minor infractions, their color is changed to yellow- warning, slow down and consider your behavior. Additional unacceptable behavior warrants a change to blue- time out for 5 minutes. Beyond that is red- the parent is contacted via phone OR they go to the principal's office. Apparently, yellow is really common- especially amongst the kindergartners. When there is a color change the teacher will note it on the date in the child's folder with a brief explanation or call if they are on red. I'm pretty sure that Kody's Mom made him write an apology note to Zona after his color was changed on Tuesday- see below, especially kindergarten version of Freudian slip.
Today- Ms. Bolivar said she suspected there was a full moon or something as almost all the children were really out of sorts and only a couple remained on green for the day. In Zona's incident, her friend Kody told her she was not doing her "paper right." Apparently, Zona started yelling at him that she was doing it correctly at the top of her very capable lungs. Ms. Bolivar spoke with her and let her know that yelling at a friend because she was upset with them was not "ok" and then asked her what she thought they should do about it. Zona immediately said, "Change my color" and went over to the behavior board and changed it. (Apparently, she had learned the ropes by witnessing others' behavior travails.) She apologized to her friend and the incident seemed to be resolved.
About 30-45 minutes later, Ms Bolivar looked over to find Zona crumpling into inconsolable tears. She took her aside to try to figure out what was wrong and found Zona devastated that she had to "change her color." The teacher really used the word "devastated." She said that all Zona could say was, "My Mommmmmmyyyy is gooooing to be soooooo ssssssssaaaaaaaaadddd." Ms. Bolivar said that no matter what she tried, she could never get Zona back into the swing of things. She was teary the rest of the school day, still weepy standing in line waiting for bus,and crying openly getting onto the daycare bus. The teacher said felt so bad for her that she had to call me to warn me about it. She also said that it is pretty rare to have a kindergartner stay on green for the first 5 1/2 weeks of school. And that the incident could have probably passed without a yellow, but when a kid takes responsibility for out-of-line behavior she wants to support that as it seems to have greater impact on them.
Poor Z, she was still pretty bummed when I cam home from work. She met me at the door with a sad face and was also pretty disappointed to find out that I already knew about what had happened. I guess she was eagerly anticipating telling her tale of woe.
She's still obsessing over it a bit- today she pointed it out on her chart and on her calendar saying "that was a really baaaaad day."
Zona's wonderful and adorable kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Bolivar, is the third from the left. She is truly gifted and seems to really LOVE her job!
Kody's letter of apology to Zona for his practical joking.I think the items in his hands are teddy bears and an apple. I don't think they were really upset with each other, but note the possible Freudian slip of "sore" instead of sorry! 
The results of Zona's apple experiment- once she got her apple back
Zona's behavior calendar for the month and the offending "yellow". The green paw print stamps (school mascot is a wildcat) are hard to see, but she has one on every day except for October 1. The scan is too hard to read enlarged, but on Oct. 1, it reads "Yellow. Yelling at Kody when she was upset with him. Oops!" The other notations are 9/12/08 "Queen for the Day" and 9/18/08 "Zona is precious!"
Monday, September 15, 2008
Update on yesterday's post
As usual, my worry was much ado about nothing. Zona and I had a long talk about walking up the breezeway on her own and following the rules. (During which Zona expressed a marked distaste for the idea of rules in general.)
Fate smiled upon us and as we were getting out of our car her teacher was just getting out of her car. She was running a little late as she'd forgotten that she had to bake cookies for some sort of teacher event until that morning. Zona was excited to walk with her and then we ran into some of her friends as we were coming up to the breezeway. After a brief hug, she was off. No drama, no crying, no chokeholds on Mom.
Further evidence that she plays me like a cello EVERY DAY!
Fate smiled upon us and as we were getting out of our car her teacher was just getting out of her car. She was running a little late as she'd forgotten that she had to bake cookies for some sort of teacher event until that morning. Zona was excited to walk with her and then we ran into some of her friends as we were coming up to the breezeway. After a brief hug, she was off. No drama, no crying, no chokeholds on Mom.
Further evidence that she plays me like a cello EVERY DAY!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Already in trouble at school (me, not Zona)
Can you people believe I am already in trouble at the Elementary School? Well, maybe you can...
The school has this rule that I find to be absolutely ridiculous. All children, including the kindergartners, are supposed to be dropped off at the front of the school to walk by themselves to class. Yes, I understand the underlying philosophies behind the rule- encouraging independence, keeping parents from distracting the teacher right as class is to begin, too much traffic on the school grounds, the potential for people who don't belong there to blend in.
However, it's just TOO FAR to go alone, especially for a kid who is reluctant to go in the first place. They have to walk on the sidewalk, down steps, past the gym, then turn and walk up a breezeway to class. Zona's class is at the very end of the line. (All the kindergarten classes are clustered together, separate from the rest of the school. ) If they arrive before the bell rings at 7:50, they are to go to the cafeteria (which is twice as far away) until the bell rings.
I have tried to encourage Zona to do this on her own to no avail. Just broaching the subject brings a swell of tears. At school, she clings and cries if I attempt to get her to walk on her own up the breezeway. Being a guilt-ridden mother who questions her parenting skills and decisions on a minute by minute basis, I have caved. Each morning, I park the car and walk with her to class. We don't bug the teacher, I don't go into class with her, nothing but a quick hug and "see you later." If it is before class, I hang with her until the bell rings, give a quick hug and I'm out of there.
I see a few other parents doing the same thing, but not that many. It should be noted that Zona appeared to be the only RUNNER the first day of school.
Friday, the principal sent out a letter to all the kindergarten parents reminding them of the rule. I'm pretty sure the letter was directed at me and that small coterie of other parents. Well, obviously it was. My paranoia says it was directed at me! He said that if anyone needed to "see" that the child made it safely into the classroom for "peace of mind", a parent could walk them to the gym and watch them walk up the breezeway to class.
Well, of course I NEED to see that my child makes it safely. It would be one thing if she were getting off a bus with a bunch of other children that she knew and walking with them. Instead, she is walking all alone. She's not even 5 1/2 yet. She's independent enough for 5 1/2. I would be nervous...
Needless to say, tomorrow a.m. ought to be fun. I've already mentioned the letter from the principal to Zona and she has already had her first round of tears and then talked Chris' ear off about it while trying to fall asleep. She is really fretting over it. I hesitated to tell her, but figured being prepared was better than the shock of the alternative.
Wish us luck!
The school has this rule that I find to be absolutely ridiculous. All children, including the kindergartners, are supposed to be dropped off at the front of the school to walk by themselves to class. Yes, I understand the underlying philosophies behind the rule- encouraging independence, keeping parents from distracting the teacher right as class is to begin, too much traffic on the school grounds, the potential for people who don't belong there to blend in.
However, it's just TOO FAR to go alone, especially for a kid who is reluctant to go in the first place. They have to walk on the sidewalk, down steps, past the gym, then turn and walk up a breezeway to class. Zona's class is at the very end of the line. (All the kindergarten classes are clustered together, separate from the rest of the school. ) If they arrive before the bell rings at 7:50, they are to go to the cafeteria (which is twice as far away) until the bell rings.
I have tried to encourage Zona to do this on her own to no avail. Just broaching the subject brings a swell of tears. At school, she clings and cries if I attempt to get her to walk on her own up the breezeway. Being a guilt-ridden mother who questions her parenting skills and decisions on a minute by minute basis, I have caved. Each morning, I park the car and walk with her to class. We don't bug the teacher, I don't go into class with her, nothing but a quick hug and "see you later." If it is before class, I hang with her until the bell rings, give a quick hug and I'm out of there.
I see a few other parents doing the same thing, but not that many. It should be noted that Zona appeared to be the only RUNNER the first day of school.
Friday, the principal sent out a letter to all the kindergarten parents reminding them of the rule. I'm pretty sure the letter was directed at me and that small coterie of other parents. Well, obviously it was. My paranoia says it was directed at me! He said that if anyone needed to "see" that the child made it safely into the classroom for "peace of mind", a parent could walk them to the gym and watch them walk up the breezeway to class.
Well, of course I NEED to see that my child makes it safely. It would be one thing if she were getting off a bus with a bunch of other children that she knew and walking with them. Instead, she is walking all alone. She's not even 5 1/2 yet. She's independent enough for 5 1/2. I would be nervous...
Needless to say, tomorrow a.m. ought to be fun. I've already mentioned the letter from the principal to Zona and she has already had her first round of tears and then talked Chris' ear off about it while trying to fall asleep. She is really fretting over it. I hesitated to tell her, but figured being prepared was better than the shock of the alternative.
Wish us luck!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Funny stuff (to me...)
People, Barbie's shoes are not like the ones we grew up with!
Barbie stiletto heeled boot on each pinky toe, please disregard any dirt you see on either foot, it was the weekend and we sometimes skip a bath (or two) on the weekend- especially if we are using the chlorine of the pool as a bath!
Zona's somewhat reluctant friend, Lulu. Like any cat, Lulu truly prefers relationships on her own terms and those terms rarely involve being picked up and squished by a 5 year old. She is a most patient cat.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
First Day Of Kindergarten
Zona's first day of kindergarten dawned bright and early on August 25th, 6:30 to be exact. The tardy bell at "real" school rings at 8:00 a.m.- a pretty difficult concept for us, as I'm used to waking her up around 7:45.
For those of you who don't already know, Zona and I are night owls. It was a major accomplishment to have her asleep by 10 in the evening. The specter of trying to get Zona to rise by 6:30 had been looming all summer and I was dreading it (Not to mention that I would have to get up an hour earlier, too. EEK!) Somehow, we managed to get up and moving. So early, that we had to wait for the classroom door to open when we arrived. The classroom door finally opened and Zona took her seat (scoped out at Meet the Teacher Night the Thursday before.) We chatted for a while as other students and their parents were filing in and getting settled. She looked fairly comfortable and only slightly apprehensive. I decided it was time for me to go and gave her what I thought was going to be a final hug. At this point things went terribly awry...
Zona leapt from her seat and charged into the classroom doorway. She planted both feet firmly on the ground and announced "I'M NOT STAYING!!!!"
Hmmmm... how to handle this without calling attention? I used my best mother-muttering-under-her-breath voice, clenched teeth and all, to say "Zona get back in your seat." She yelled "NO!" and took off. Out the door, down the breezeway, and across a grassy knoll (TEXAS is rife with grassy knolls...) I am chasing her in sling-back high heels that are slipping off the back of my feet (why I did not jettison them I will never know, they were a definite hinderance), she's stopping every few feet to look back and challenge me to chase her further (she learned this from our cat, Lulu, who does the exact same thing) and I'm trying my damnedest not to start yelling at her in front of all the stragglers and school employees, including the principal! (Happy First Day of School to You, Too, Mr. Principal!) I finally catch her and have to pick her up and carry her back to her classroom.
She is red faced and openly weeping. The teacher's aide tries to get her engaged so I squat down to try to help. At this point, Zona gets me in a clinging choke hold from which I could not extricate myself. She's wrapped around me like a boa constrictor with her chin jutting into my voice box, all the while I'm squatted down teetering on some very ill-chosen shoes. In the end, it took three people to pull her off of me (teacher, teacher's aide, and the principal who is this big burly guy with a shaved head.) Once they got us separated, I was pretty much pushed out the door and the door was slammed in my face.
Once I was able to get oxygen circulating to my brain again (cried all the way to work), I knew she would be just fine and she was/is. She has received a "green stamp" every day, which means her behavior is great. (Color code system- green is good, yellow card means "slow down and consider your behavior", blue means "a time out of approx. 5 minutes", red card means "a call to parents or a visit to the principal's office"- yikes!) One would think green is normal, but apparently for first few days of kindergarten it is not. So, we are off to a great start. If you get a green stamp every day of the week, you get to choose a small "prize" from the barrel- high motivation for Miss Z.
We are very unhappy with our after school daycare choice but research is showing we do not have many options. Apparently, we have been very spoiled in our quality of care up to now. That is info for another time as I'm a bit rundown by getting up at 6 a.m. every day.
The other pic is a possum that lives in our back yard or somewhere around here and who makes a nightly feast of the cat food we have outside for the feral cat that lives in the backyard. Our backyard is part homeless animal soup kitchen and stray cat buffet.
Still trying to figure out this blog thing....
Iwas going to publish some comments in the blog with Zona and Reese, but after I loaded up the pictures I couldn't figure out how to get the text box going. I'm so technologically lame. Let's try text before attaching the pictures. Y'all bear with me here.
This is Zona and her other best friend, Daniel Denton, from earlier this summer. Those crazy faces are pretty typical as is the insane mess they've made. They've been friends even longer than Zona and Reese (since they were 2 years old) and they have tons of fun together.
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